Attending Sex Education Classes

Western societies have become the worst disgrace in human history, with perverted and deviant behaviour and corruption of human nature. “Sexual madness” has become the preoccupation of all classes of society, and not even their children in their homes or schools are safe from them. Conferences are being held and resolutions are being passed about the “necessity” of spreading “sex education” in the schools of those deviant societies. They are not content only to corrupt themselves, but they are also hastening to spread it to the Arab and Muslim countries so that they will follow in their footsteps of temptation and perversion, so some of those who were deceived by them followed them in that, and Allaah saves whomever He wills by His guidance and help.

The one who wants to save himself and his family should not agree to be a part of those societies, or to live among them, and he should refuse to take part in what they are doing of haraam things, evils and perversions.

Wise people in those societies have spoken of the necessity of separating male and female students in schools. They have seen the many evils that result from this mixing, and some of them attribute those evils to moral corruption, and others to education. Whatever the case, mixing in such places is forbidden in our sharee’ah. Islam brings that which is in the best interests of both individuals and societies, in both spiritual and worldly matters.

Secondly:

What you mention is something to which we have previously drawn attention repeatedly, and it includes three issues:

(i) Living in kaafir countries

(ii) Mixing in education

(iii) Studying “sex education”

We will pause briefly here to say:

Teaching about matters of sex and related issues to male and female students at an early age leads to many evils, including the following:

1.

Premature sexual development among male and female students. It has been proven that many students do not wait until they reach the stage when this subject is taught, rather they hasten to borrow the books from their friends before they reach that stage! You can imagine the extent of the evil that can spread as a result, especially when older students take advantage of younger ones to put what they have learned into practice, as happens in those morally and religiously corrupt societies.

2.

The spread of illegitimate pregnancy among female students at the secondary and university stage. Numbers have reached remarkable levels, and this situation has led to the involvement of some educationalists to put a limit on this matter, but how could these wise people reform a sex-crazed society?

The ratio of illegitimate children has risen to a dangerous level. The government office of statistics in France states that the number of illegitimate births rose to more than half of all births in France in 2006 (50.5 %), for the first time in the country’s history. Similar situations are developing in Britain and America.

3.

There has been an increase in cases of rape among students. There are many well known cases, and this matter is no secret to anyone, rather the nightmare of rape haunts all female students and every female student is waiting for the time when it will get her.

4.

There are many cases of students killing one another, or students killing their teachers, all due to competition in winning the love of a female student.

5.

There is no longer any shyness or modesty among male and female students. You can see this in the way they are after these lessons, and in their conversations with their families, and in their public gatherings.

6.

They hasten to put into practice the theories they learned in those lessons, because it is well known that teaching these lessons is something that provokes desire – as mentioned in the question – especially if the teaching is accompanied by pictures or films. This is what makes the students eager to try it out in real life, if only to discover that which was unknown, then it quickly turns into a frenzy, and if a person cannot practise it with the opposite sex he will practise it with the members of his own sex, and thus perversion spreads. This is happening a great deal in those societies, and they now have institutions and associations that defend them and demand more rights and privileges for them.

Thirdly:

For all these reasons, we do not think that you or any Muslim should live in those deviant societies, let alone study in their mixed schools, or attend those provocative and evil “sex education” lessons.

If this is the knowledge that they are teaching, what bad knowledge it is!

Listen to the testimony of an American female doctor who worked in an Arab country, and saw the state of her own country, and realized what was wrong with the spread of “sex education” among male and female students in schools. She says:

If your women in the east do not know some of the secrets of sex that are known by American girls, I would say – with a clear conscience – that it is better for you to remain ignorant than to enjoy this knowledge. We have given our girls lessons so that they will know about sex in detail, but soon one of them will leave the lecture hall, looking for the nearest boy, to practise with him the sexual theories carelessly, as if she is taking part in a play or playing a game. The natural result of that is an increase in fooling about and promiscuity.

See: Makaanaki Tuhmadi by Ahmad Muhammad Jamaal (p. 93, 94), quoted in Qadaaya al-Mar’ah fi’l-Mu’tamaraat al-Duwaliyyah by Dr. Fu’aad ibn ‘Abd al-Kareem.

Based on this, it is not permissible for you to attend those classes, and the least that you should do is move to other classes that do not teach these subjects.

This is the least that you should do, although the basic principle is that living in kaafir countries and studying in mixed schools is haraam and you should leave, especially since your morals may be affected.

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Ruling on using perfume

Q. I read one of the answers which says that it is not permissible for women to wear perfume when going out, because men may smell the perfume and be tempted by it. Doesn't the same ruling apply to men also, because women may be tempted by the perfume that men wear? My second question is: Is it permissible to pray wearing perfume?

Ans:
Firstly:
It is proven that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Any woman who puts on perfume and passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance is a zaaniyah(fornicatoress).” Narrated by Imam Ahmad (19212) and al-Nasaa’i (5126); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘.

With regard to men, they are not forbidden to do that; rather it is mustahabb for men to use perfume on all occasions, and it is particularly mustahabb on Fridays and Eid, when people gather in mosques and prayer-places and so on. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) loved perfume and used it. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Women and perfume have been made clear to me and my delight is in prayer.” Narrated by Ahmad (11885), al-Nasaa’i (3940); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.

The difference between women and men is that the basic principle with regard to woman is that she should stay in her house and use her adornment there, so that no temptation will be caused by her and she will not encounter any negative consequences. In the case of men, the man goes out of his house and works, and travels about, and mixes with people in gatherings, marketplaces and so on.

Moreover the temptation of men by women is greater than the temptation of women by men; if a man is attracted by a woman he can pursue her and try to tempt her; but a woman is usually pursued and is not the pursuer. If it so happens that she is attracted to a man, she would not pursue him, because the shyness and chastity that are part of her inherent nature usually prevent her from pursuing him. Moreover, if she stays in her house and does not go out often and mix with man, that prevents this fitnah or prevents her acting upon it.

Secondly:

With regard to praying with perfume on, if she does that in her house there is nothing wrong with her doing that. But if she is outside her house, it is not permissible for her to put on perfume, whether she is going to the mosque or anywhere else; rather it is narrated that women are specifically forbidden to use perfume when going to the mosque.

It was narrated that Zaynab, the wife of ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas‘ood (may Allah be pleased with her and her husband) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to us: “If one of you (women) wants to go to the mosque, let her not put on perfume.” Narrated by Muslim (443).

What the Muslim woman should do, if she wants to go to the mosque, is to go out wearing her hijab, not wearing adornment or anything like perfume or anything else that may attract attention or cause fitnah.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Do not prevent the female servants of Allah from going to the mosques of Allah, but let them go out (ukhrijna) unadorned.” Narrated by Ahmad (9362) and Abu Dawood (565).

Ibn Daqeeq al-Eid (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

Also included with perfume is whatever comes under the same heading; perfume is only forbidden because it may provoke men’s desires, and it may also provoke a woman's desire too [i.e., if she uses perfume, her desire may be stirred up]. Whatever could cause a similar effect is also forbidden. It is narrated in a saheeh report that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Any woman who scents herself with bukhoor (incense) should not attend ‘Isha’ prayer with us.” To that may be added beautiful clothes and wearing jewellery that can be seen. Some of them interpreted the words of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) in al-Saheeh - “If the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) could see what women have introduced after he died, he would have forbidden them to go to the mosques, as the women of the Children of Israel were forbidden” -- as referring to this, i.e., the introduction of beautiful clothing, perfume and adornment. End quote.

Ihkaam al-Ahkaam Sharh ‘Umdat al-Ahkaam, 1/196. See also: ‘Awn al-Ma‘bood Sharh Sunan Abi Dawood.

And Allah knows best

Ruling on taking boyfriends or girlfriends

Question: I am deeply in love with a Muslim man and want to marry him. I know that Allah forbids girlfriend-boyfriend relationships, and feel very sorry in my heart for our relationship. I feel that because we have been in this relationship which is abhorred by Allah, he will never marry me because he has lost respect for me. What does the Quran say about this?

Praise be to Allaah.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“… Wed them with the permission of their own folk and give them their mahr (dowry) according to what is reasonable; they should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:25]

In his commentary on this aayah, Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“Muhsanaat [translated as “chaste”] means that they should be pure, not indulging in zinaa (unlawful sexual conduct), hence they are described as not being musaafihaat, which means promiscuous women who do not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them. Regarding the phrase wa laa muttakhidhaati akhdaan (‘nor taking boyfriends’), Ibn ‘Abbaas said: ‘al-musaafihaat means those who are known to commit zinaa, meaning those who will not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them.’ Ibn ‘Abbaas also said: ‘muttakhidhaati akhdaan means lovers.’ A similar interpretation was narrated from Abu Hurayrah, Mujaahid, al-Sha’bi, al-Dahhaak, ‘Ataa’ al-Khurasaani, Yahyaa ibn Abi Katheer, Muqaatil ibn Hayyaan and al-Saddi. They said: (it means) lovers. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: ‘It means a (male) friend.’ Al-Dahhaak also said: ‘wa laa muttakhidhaati akhdaan also means a woman who has just one boyfriend or lover with whom she is happy. Allaah has also forbidden this, meaning marrying her so long as she is in that situation…’”

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Made lawful to you this day are al-tayyibaat [all kinds of halaal (lawful) foods…]. The food of the People of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due mahr (bridal money given by the husband to the wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in the Oneness of Allaah and in all the other Articles of Faith, the fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers.” [al-Maa’idah 5:5]

Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
“Muhsineen ghayr musaafiheen wa laa muttakhidhi akhdaan (‘desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends’). Just as Allaah imposed the condition of chastity on women, meaning that they refrain from zinaa, so it is also imposed on men. The man must also be pure and chaste. So they should be ghayr musaafiheen, meaning they should not be adulterers who do not refrain from sin and do not refuse any who come to them (for immoral purposes). Nor should they be muttakhidhi akhdaan, meaning those who have girlfriends or female lovers with whom they have an exclusive relationship, as quoted above from Soorat al-Nisaa’. (The one with many lovers or the one with just one lover) are both the same. For this reason Imaam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allaah have mercy on him) said that it is not right to marry a promiscuous woman unless she has repented, or to arrange a marriage of such a woman to a chaste man, so long as she is still conducting herself in this manner. Similarly, he (Ahmad) says that it is not right for a promiscuous man to marry a chaste woman unless he repents and gives up his immoral conduct, because of this aayah… We will discuss this matter in further detail after quoting the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

“Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.” [al-Noor 24:3]

Among the stories that show that it is forbidden to have girlfriends or to marry them is the story of Marthad ibn Abi Marthad, who used to smuggle Muslim prisoners-of-war from Makkah to Madeenah. There was a prostitute in Makkah, called ‘Anaaq, who had been a friend of Marthad’s. Marthad had promised to take one of the prisoners from Makkah to Madeenah. He said: “I came to the shade of one of the gardens of Makkah on a moonlit night, then ‘Anaaq came and saw my shadow by the garden. When she reached me, she recognized me and said: ‘Marthad?’ I said, ‘Marthad.’ She said: ‘Welcome! Stay with us tonight.’ I said, ‘O ‘Anaaq, Allaah has forbidden zinaa (unlawful sexual relations)’ … I came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and asked him, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, should I marry ‘Anaaq?’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) remained silent and did not answer me at all, until the aayah ‘Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever; nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman; to the Believers such a thing is forbidden’ [al-Noor 24:3 – Yusuf ‘Ali’s translation] was revealed. Then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘O Marthad, Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever; nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman, so do not marry her.’”

(Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 3101; he said: it is a hasan ghareeb hadeeth).

‘Abd-Allaah ibn Maghfal reported that there was a woman who had been a prostitute during the days of ignorance (before Islam). A man passed by her, or she passed by him, and he touched her. She said: “Stop it! (Mah! A word connoting a rebuke or denunciation). Allaah has done away with shirk and had brought Islam.” So he left her alone and went away, still looking at her, until he walked into a wall, hitting his face. He came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him what had happened. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You are a man for whom Allaah wishes good. When Allaah, may He be blessed and exalted, wishes good for His slave, He hastens the punishment for his sin, so that it is dealt with before the Day of Resurrection.” (Reported by al-Haakim, 1/349, who said this hadeeth is saheeh according to the conditions of Muslim, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him. See Saheeh al-Jaami’, 308).

These aayaat and ahaadeeth clearly indicate that it is haraam (forbidden) for men to have any kind of friendship or relationship with non-mahram women (women to whom they are not closely-related and to whom they could get married). The evil consequences and misery caused by such relationships are obvious to anyone who observes real life. A similar question has been asked under #2085. We ask Allaah to keep us far away from that which is forbidden, to protect us from all that may earn His wrath and to keep us safe from a painful punishment. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Haram

Question:I am a young man who is an evildoer (faasiq) and a kaafir. I want to repent to Allaah. I used to do all kinds of haraam actions, and I do not pray. But now I want to repent. I hope the Shaykh (Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid) can tell me how to repent.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.

“Say: “O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.And turn in repentance and in obedience with true Faith (Islamic Monotheism) to your Lord and submit to Him (in Islam) before the torment comes upon you, (and) then you will not be helped.And follow the best of that which is sent down to you from your Lord (i.e. this Qur’aan, do what it orders you to do and keep away from what it forbids), before the torment comes on you suddenly while you perceive not!’”[al-Zumar 39:53-54 – interpretation of the meaning]
I have received your letter and I was impressed with your eagerness to repent and come back to Allaah, despite the fact that you have committed all kinds of haraam actions, as you say, above all neglecting prayer. It is very important that you should know that the gate of repentance is open to you. You should think deeply about what is mentioned in the aayahs quoted above. I will also tell you some practical steps which will show you clearly how to repent, inshaAllah.

The word tawbah (repentance) is a great word with deep meaning. It is not, as many people think, merely words to be uttered whilst persisting in sin. Think about what Allaah says:

“Seek the forgiveness of your Lord, and turn to Him in repentance”[Hood 11:3 – interpretation of the meaning]
You will see that repentance is something more than seeking forgiveness.
Because this is a serious matter, there have to be conditions attached. The scholars mentioned the conditions of repentance, based on aayahs from the Qur’aan and ahaadeeth.

There follows a list of some of them:

Giving up the sin immediately.
Regretting what has happened in the past.
Resolving not to go back to it.
Making amends to those whom you have wronged, or asking for their forgiveness.
You should not forget other important matters connected to sincere repentance,such as:

You should give up the sin for the sake of Allaah and not for any other reason such as not being able to do it or repeat it, or being afraid of what people will say, for example.
The person who gives up a sin because it may affect his standing or reputation among people, or because it may cost him his job, cannot be described as having repented.
The person who gives up sins for the sake of his health and strength cannot be described as having repented, such as a person who gives up zinaa (adultery) and immoral actions for fear of contagious deadly diseases, or for fear that they may weaken his body and his memory.
The person who refrains from taking a bribe for fear that it may be being offered by undercover officers cannot be described as having repented.
The person who gives up drinking alcohol and taking drugs because he has become bankrupt cannot be described as having repented.

Similarly, the person who is unable to commit sin because of something that lies beyond his control cannot be described as having repented, such as a liar who becomes paralyzed and loses the power of speech, or an adulterer who loses the ability to engage in intercourse, or a thief who has an accident and loses his limbs. In such cases, a person has to feel regret and stop wishing to commit sin, or he has to feel sorry for what has happened in the past. To someone like this the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Regret is repentance.” (narrated by Ahmad and Ibn Maajah; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6802)

He should feel repelled by the sin and the harm it causes.
This means that sincere repentance cannot be accompanied by feelings of enjoyment and pleasure when remembering past sins, or wishing to go back to it in the future.
In his book al-Daa’ wa’l-Dawaa’ wa’l-Fawaa’id, Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) mentioned many of the harmful effects of sin, including the following:

Being deprived of (Islamic) knowledge – feelings of alienation in the heart – difficulties – physical weakness – being unable to do acts of worship – being deprived of blessings – less help from Allaah – anxiety – more bad deeds – getting used to sin – the sinner becomes insignificant in the sight of Allaah – he becomes insignificant in the sight of people – the curse of the animals will be upon him – he will bear marks of humiliation – his heart will be sealed and he will come under the curse (of Allaah) – his du’aa’ will not be answered – cause of mischief on land and sea – loss of gheerah (protective jealousy) – loss of modesty – the blessings of Allaah will disappear – punishment will befall him – terror in the heart of the sinner – falling into the clutches of the Shaytaan – a bad end – punishment in the Hereafter.

Knowing these harmful effects of sin will make you want to keep away from sin altogether, but some people may move from one sin to another for a number of reasons, including the following:

- They think that it is less serious- The self is more inclined towards it and the desire for it is stronger- It is easier to commit this sin than others, unlike sins which require some preparation; the means of doing it are readily available and widespread- His friends and companions are committing this sin and it is difficult for him to differ from them- A particular sin may give a person some status among his companions, and it is too difficult for him to lose this position, so he continues to commit that sin.
He should hasten to repent. Hence delaying repentance is in and of itself a sin for which repentance is required.
You should make up the duties towards Allaah that you have missed, if that is possible, such as paying the zakaah which you withheld in the past; and because this is something which is the right of the poor.
You should keep away from places of sin if your being there may make you fall into sin again.
You should keep away from those who helped you to commit sin.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Friends on that Day will be foes one to another except Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)”[al-Zukhruf 43:67]
Bad friends will curse one another on the Day of Resurrection, so you should keep away from them and break off your friendship with them, and warn others against them if you are not able to call them (to Allaah). Do nt let the Shaytaan deceive you or make the idea of going back to them in order to call them to Allaah look attractive to you, for you know that you are weak and will not be able to resist.
There are many cases in which people have gone back to sin because they resumed relationships with their former companions.

Destroy haraam things that you may have in your possession, such as intoxicants, musical instruments, haraam pictures and movies, permissive stories, statues and so on. They should be broken, destroyed or burnt.
It is very essential that the one who wants to repent should rid himself of all items of jaahiliyyah. How often has it happened that keeping these haraam things caused people who had repented to go back on their repentance and be led astray after having been guided. We ask Allaah to make us steadfast.

Choose righteous friends who will help you against your nafs (self) and who will be an alternative to bad company. Strive to attend circles of dhikr and gatherings of knowledge. Fill your time with beneficial things so that the Shaytaan will not find any opportunity to remind you of the past.
Focus on your body which has been fed on haraam substances and direct its energies towards obeying Allaah. Seek out halaal substances with which to nourish your body so that your flesh will be renewed with halaal substances.
Do a lot of good deeds, for good deeds cancel out bad deeds.
If you are sincere in your repentance to Allaah, then receive the good news that all your previous evil deeds will be changed into good deeds. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”[al-Furqaan 25:68]
I ask Allaah to benefit you by these words, and to guide your heart. Now get up and utter the Shahaadatyan, purify yourself (with ghusl) and pray as Allaah has commanded you. Observe the Islamic duties regularly and give up haraam things. I will be happy to help you in any way.
I ask Allaah to give us and you strength to do that which He loves and is pleased with. May He accept the repentance of us all, for He is the One Who accepts repentance, the Most Merciful.

What Is Real Hijaab?

Be Generous to nieghbours & guest

Narrated Abu Shuraih Al-Adawi: My ears heard and my eyes saw the Prophet(PBUH) when he spoke, "Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his neighbor generously, and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should serve his guest generously by giving him his reward." It was asked. "What is his reward, O Allah's Apostle(BUH)?" He said, "(To be entertained generously) for a day and a night with high quality of food and the guest has the right to be entertained for three days (with ordinary food) and if he stays longer, what he will be provided with will be regarded as Sadaqa (a charitable gift). And anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quite (i.e. abstain from all kinds of dirty and evil talks)." Sahih Bukhari (Book #73, Hadith #48)

Do good to Parents

► Allah has decreed that you worship none but Him, and do good to parents. If any one of them or both of them reach old age, do not say to them: uff (a word or expression of anger or contempt) and do not scold them, and address them with respectful words. Quran [17:23]
★ Dan Tuhanmu telah perintahkan, supaya engkau tidak menyembah melainkan kepadaNya semata-mata dan hendaklah engkau berbuat baik kepada ibu bapa. Jika salah seorang dari keduanya atau kedua-duanya sekali, sampai kepada umur tua dalam jagaan dan peliharaanmu, maka janganlah engkau berkata kepada mereka (sebarang perkataan kasar) sekalipun perkataan "Ha" dan janganlah engkau menengking menyergah mereka, tetapi katakanlah kepada mereka perkataan yang mulia (yang bersopan santun).
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا